About Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is commonly referred to as battering (woman or wife), family violence, intimate partner violence, spousal abuse, and teen dating violence. Abuse in an intimate relationship can occur between husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, ex- or estranged spouses, persons who co-habitat, or persons in same sex relationships.

Victims of domestic violence may be female or male; however the overwhelming majority of intimate partner violence is committed by men against women. A common, working definition of domestic violence is:

the establishment of control and fear in an intimate relationship through the use of violence and other forms of abuse including, but not limited to physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, economic oppression, isolation, threats, intimidation, and maltreatment of the children to control an intimate partner.

1. Intimate relationship
2. Controlling behaviors
3. Establishment of pattern of behaviors vs. isolated incident

Domestic violence often escalates from a pattern of non-physical abuse (threats, intimidation, isolation, emotional abuse) through physical violence (slapping, punching, kicking, restraining) to life-threatening behaviors (strangulation, use of weapons, and hospitalization as a result of physical violence). The cycle of violence continues throughout an abusive relationship.

Why do battered women feel trapped?

Simply, because they often are trapped. That doesn't necessarily mean that there's no way out. But there are many good reasons why it may be difficult to be safe or to end a relationship with a violent partner. The choices women confront are not risk-free.

No battered woman has control over her partner's violence, but women can and do find ways to reduce their risk of harm. The safety plan is a tool to assist you in identifying options, evaluating those options and committing to a plan to reduce your risk when confronted with the threat of harm or with actual harm. Whether it's safe to write down your plan or not, it's still important to make one. You don't have to figure it all out on your own, call our 24-hour hotline and speak with a domestic violence advocate for help.

National Domestic Violence Resources (PDF 98K)